"You can't fight me, I represent the system."

Derek and Simon

Cars

I guess I'd better get out my checkbook.

Cars - watch more funny videos

Rights for robots?

In a word: No.


(Image links to From the Mind of Charles)

Saturday Night Fiedler

I've finally found my new wallpaper:


(Image links to Unpleasant.com)

For the record, my old wallpaper was great, but it's now a little out of season:



(Image links to Universalhub.com)

Deep-fried what now?

This is why people think I come from some backwater flyover state.

Basically, whis breaks down to three major points.

1) "Around here, it may be tough to pass up anything deep-fried."

2) "What else can you do in a small town?"

3) "After a few beers, you can't really tell the difference."

There you have it folks. All that's truly great and terrible about Wisconsin.

Two quotes

Two quotes in particular make this Yeltsin obit worth reading:

"Power is his ideology, his friend, his concubine, his mistress, his passion," former Kremlin spokesman Vyacheslav Kostikov said in 1997.

"Yeltsin is a good revolutionary, but a bad leader," Sergei Markov, a prominent Moscow political analyst, once said of Yeltsin. "He knows how to fight, but he doesn't know how to manage his victories."

That says about all you need to know about the man.

The Landlord

See Will Ferrell totally get upstaged by a two-year-old.


(Background on the video here)

Sad Kermit

Some things don't require comment.

The matadors

At work, I am known as "The Matador." By one person. It started innocently enough. Over beers one night, I explained my fondness for two paintings I've had since college. Both of them belong in the Museum of Bad Art, right next to the Paint by Numbers Last Supper.



The one on the left was obtained/stolen from an apartment basement. The one on the right was purchased at a thrift store to match the one on the left. Because really, how can you get by with only ONE matador painting? Several things are striking about these paintings: The lack of detail, the apparent blood splattering, the very real mud spatters (not really visible in this photo, sorry), and damaged frame of matador #1.



The gilded wooden frame, the strangely billowing cape that seems to have wrapped itself around matador #2.



And I, I am matador #3.

Heaven vs. Martha Vineyard

"'The whole point is I didn't expect to be here,' (Art Buchwald) told the Globe in an interview last July at his gray-shingled house on Main Street in Vineyard Haven. 'My plan was to leave the earth. And then I thought, to hell with it, I'll go to the Vineyard.'

(Boston Globe)

Jesus too

In the interest of fairness, I was not the only one to find Jesus in the backseat of a Globe reporter's car. Co-worker and photoblogger Pierre LaScott found it too:

Jesus in the backseat

In a previous entry, I extolled the virtues of viewing a paint-by-numbers version of The Last Supper in the backseat of a Globe reporter's 1998 Nissan Sentra. As visual proof and documentation of this, I've taken photos. On the first, notice the unassuming position of the messiah, laying prone in the backseat, with a discarded water bottle and paper bag:



In the second photo, we see the savior in his full glory, propped up on the rear window:



And lastly, notice the fine lack of detail in the painting. The blank expressions, the lack of eyes. The empty plates. What exactly were they eating at this supper? And was it so good that they finished every last morsel, or were they patiently awaiting service?

On being a battery

If you're a battery, you're either working or your dead. That's a shit life.

Demetri Martin

The Brick Testament

The Bible. Illustrated. With Legos.

Yacht rock

Never has the music of my childhood been so expertly skewered.

Paint by numbers

A few weeks ago, I saw a copy of The Last Supper, done in paint by numbers. Naturally,this came about when a Boston Globe reporter pulled it out of the backseat of her car to show it to me after a party in a closed bookstore in Roslindale. After playing skeeball in the bookstore basement. Because, really, when else are you going to see a paint-by-numbers version of The Last Supper?

Frankly, I'd advise that all people see it under these circumstances. It's really the only way you could appreciate such an artifact. So enigmatic. Saying, "I'm a trashy, 70's style crafty replica of a Leonardo da Vinci classic and one of the key moments in Christianity." Saying, "Well, I'd like to be creative. Could you tell me exactly where to paint?" The Ikea of art.

There's almost a Warholian take on it. Except Warhol turned everyday objects into art. Painting by numbers turns art into an everyday object.

Sure, send in a video, but don't be a douche, part 2 1/2

Again. It's difficult to sell yourself in an audition, even moreso on tape. But rule one remains: Don't...well...you know.

"Impossible is Nothing"

I realize I'm slow on the uptake on this, but A)It's still worth posting, and B)I'd like to add a comment.

I feel for this guy. Resumes and interviews suck. You have to sell yourself without sounding like a douche. Not an easy task.

Then again, maybe this video proves that you should just explain your achievements and goals, with no sales involved (again, without sounding like a douche).

In summary, don't sound like a douche.

Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

I'd recommend watching the original first (see above).

Sigh. I miss Arrested Development.

Those darned hippies are at it again with their peace, love, evolutionary psychology, and simultaneous orgasms

"Calif. couple calls for orgasm for peace" (from Boston.com)

I don't disagree with the idea. But it does raise the question: What other pleasurable activities could we undertake in the name of peace?

• Eat ice cream for peace
• Smell freshly baked cookies for peace
• Enjoy a nice bowel movement for peace.
• Receive a backrub for peace
• Calculate compound interest for peace (accountants only)
• Watch football while drinking a cold one for peace
• Have a hearty laugh over the finely tuned wit of Alan Thicke for peace (Canadians only)
• Yell at the driver in front of you for peace
• Stroll on the beach for peace
• Destroy your enemies and watch them kneel before you for peace