Two sips

How my favorite New Pornographers lyrics might be overdubbed for television...

(inspired by "If Yosemite Sam's Curses Were Considered Real Profanity and Were Dubbed Over for Television in the Same Clumsy, Unconvincing Manner as 1980s R-Rated Movies."

"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm shitfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm SPITfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm SHINEfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm SNOTfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm FUNfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm THINfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm SINfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm CRAPfaced"
"Two sips from the cup of human kindness and I'm POOPfaced"

...

"You had to send the wrecking crew after me."

Things this ain't

-Party
-Disco
-Foolin' around

Things I ain't got time for

-Dancin'
-Lovey dovey
-Mudd club
-CBGB
-To love you
-To hold you

Poorly Named or Conceived Greatest Hits Collection Titles

"Drowning in a Small Urban Lake of Love," Otis Redding
"Touching Mountains in Airplanes," John Denver
"Greatest Hit," Silverchair
"I Would Die 4U, or an Few Grams of Heroin, Whichever Comes First " Nirvana covers Prince's greatest hits.

New and Interesting Musical Genres

-Grind-Teeth-Metal
-Emo-Pop-Core
-Death-Pop
-Acid-Classical
-Puncture-Wound-Blues
-Hipster-Post-Ironic
-Post-Pathetic
-Bruise-Core
-Post-Pretentious
-Mind-Meld
-Tuna-Melt-Rock
-Britney-XXX-Hardcore

(Concept stolen from Sean Galvin)