I like my women like my...

As an experiment, and—oh let's say just for the hell of it—I'd like people to comment on their favorite way to finish the following statement:

I like my (women/men) like my (blank): (Description of comparison).

For example (Neither of these are mine, by the way):
-I like my women like my coffee: strong, black, and hot.
Or:
-I like my women like my scotch: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

Or, as an alternate game, try: A good (woman/man) is like a (blank): (description).

For example (Again, not mine. They're from Mad magazine and Space Ghost Coast to Coast, respectively):
-A good woman is like a stucco birdcage: rough on the outside...and heavy.
Or:
-Dames are like mustard: they taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich... they just sit there in the fridge... on a shelf... in a jar... labeled... Mustard.

Oh, and feel free to steal them from where ever you want. Just be sure to give credit where credit's due.

Let the commenting begin.